My Dogs Outsmart Me Every Time

So, there's been this nest of baby bunnies in my backyard. In an attempt to prevent my dogs from killing them, I've done a couple of things. First, I constructed my patented baby bunny protective enclosure:



I've also minimized the time my dogs spend in the yard. Basically, I've just been letting them out in the yard to pee as soon as I get in from work, before I feed them. During this time, I hover over the bunny enclosure, shooing curious pooches to the opposite end of the yard, encouraging them to hurry up and pee already, so we can go in and leave the bunnies in peace.

This weekend, Bones the Bunny Killer tried to strike again. He's been on steroids, due to an insane allergy attack. This means he pees a lot. He's even peed in the house a few times because he just can't hold it more than an hour or two. So, I've been making increased use of the yard to get us through the steroid phase, letting him out in the yard to pee, because I know he'll just pick a spot immediately and go. He's a smart dog, though, and will run right to the bunny enclosure and pee right there while he madly sniffs away. This weekend, he finally figured out that his paw would fit into the holes of the crate.

Cue panicked baby bunny darting out of the crate, across the yard, out from my fence, and behind my neighbor's trash can. Cue insanely excited pooches, one of whom decides to try and squeeze herself under the fence to get the baby bunny. Cue one panicked human running around, screaming, trying to get the dogs back into the house. It was a madhouse. The dogs were finally herded back into the house, and I attempted to return the baby bunny to the nest. What I didn't know then, and what my research has told me this morning, is that this bunny is now ready to live on its own...



Twice, I tried to stick him back in the nest with his brothers and sisters and twice he scooted away and tried to hide elsewhere. I finally gave up, re-covered the nest with the crate, and left the yard, hoping he would head back on his own if he felt like it. This morning, when I checked the nest, all of the bunnies were gone. They really were ready! That, or a cat got them. I'm choosing to believe that they are out in the wide world of yards, making trouble for someone else's dogs.

UPDATE:
Squirt has now achieved the label of murderer. Apparently, the bunnies still sort of hang around the yard they were born in. One of the babies just didn't bounce out of the fence quickly enough last night, and he met his demise in the jaws of slobbering fiend. May he rest in eternal bunny peace. I made the spouse perform the clean up work. And now I know to check the yard for lingering bunny babies BEFORE I let the monsters loose.

Dumb Rabbits

I am a firm believer in evolution, and the whole "survival of the fittest" shebang that goes with it. However, when a bunny mommy is dumb enough to make her nest in my fenced back yard, the yard where my three psychotic Labradors run, dig, and eat rabbit poop, well, I just can't stand by and let "nature" (i.e. Bones the Bunny Killer) take its course.

I took a vacation day yesterday, in the hopes of catching up on minor and miscellaneous errands and chores that have piled up in my life. CPM and I spend all of our free weekend time working at the new house, and the rest of the weekend time we spend recovering from working at the new house (in other words, eating out and sleeping). Unfortunately, my day off began a bit earlier than I would have liked, as the early morning "get in the yard and pee so I can go back to sleep for another hour" trip was interrupted when Squirt discovered a baby bunny nest. Luckily, she's just curious, and not into killing things, so she was simply digging the protective grass away to take a peak when I heard the baby bunny screaming. (Have you ever heard a baby bunny scream? It's blood curdling.) I ran from the other end of the yard to intervene.

I know the sound, you see, because a few years back, Bones found a similar nest in a similar location in the yard. I thought he had found a squeaky toy lodged behind the air conditioner. Nope. It was a baby bunny, that he promptly shook by the neck until it stopped screaming. He got another one out of the nest before I was able to convince him to move and end the play. Once the babies were dead, he lost interest. Yes, my dog just wants to play with baby bunnies. Too bad play time is fatal.

So, I herded my now super excited dogs back into the house, returned to the yard to assess the damage (none, phew), then had a minor panic attack. WTF. A quick google search told me what I needed to know about baby bunny nests: do not disturb/remove them unless they are hurt or you know mom is dead. Mom comes back at dusk and dawn to feed them, so you can cover them up at all other times if you have to, but get the cover off at night so mom can return to feed them. Hence, I spent a portion of my morning at Lowe's purchasing a milk crate and some bricks to weight it down. Yes, I can keep my dogs out of the yard for the few weeks the babies need to mature, but I'm more concerned now that my lawn guy will run them over.

I tried to take a photo, but unfortunately, baby bunnies must have some kind of protective force field around them against cameras, because my iPhone's camera just froze up each time I attempted the shot. Instead, take a look at this heinous wallpaper that we uncovered in the kitchen/hallway at the new place. It's horrifying.