Doing Our Part to Stimulate the Economy

Ah, the fun part of the home project. The buying of stuff. This week, I bought a lot of stuff.

First, on Tuesday, I ordered cabinets for the kitchen. I went to a place in South Philly recommended by a friend. I'm glad I did, because, otherwise, I would have ended up at Ikea, paying more money, and still having to assemble my chip board kitchen. At this place, the cabinets they sell are all solid wood, will arrive assembled, and were far less expensive (possibly because they were made by 7 year old children in China). There was a lot of yelling into telephones in Chinese involved during the order process(not by me, by the sales guy). Bottom line...the cabinets will be arriving on New Year's Eve. They look like this, except no glass doors:



On the same day that I broke my bank account on cabinets, CPM and I also proceeded to our local Home Depot, which I seem to visit at least once per day these days anyway, to take advantage of the "use your high rate store credit card and get your appliances interest free if you pay them off in 12 months" deal. Luckily, I was approved for enough to cover the cost of all of the kitchen appliances, plus a set of LG front loading, stackable washer and dryer. (Dear whomever buys my current home: you're welcome...the washer and dryer that I'm leaving behind are awesome, which is why I just bought the same set for my new house).

Fridge


Range


Dishwasher


You're jealous right? They're all stainless steel! I got a double oven! And a french door refrigerator! God, I'm drooling just thinking about these appliances.

In the days leading up to our spendy escapades, CPM was working diligently to install tons of trim. He's no carpenter, but you would never know it from the way things turned out. I played assistant carpenter and got to use the nail guns and wood putty. (Note: it is best to keep your blood sugar up when working as a team to install trim. I may or may not have had a minor foot stampy tantrummy moment during baseboard installation brought upon by attempting to get through the day solely on chocolate chip cookies, Cheez Its, and the contents of a box of Hershey's Pot O Gold chocolates.)

Front Door


Bedroom


The Big Picture

Floors and Finishes

I haven't been doing a good job keeping track of the changes to the new place. When last I typed here, we were installing a fence. Since that time, the fence was completed, a fresh dumpster was delivered (seriously, this is the last dumpster, I swear), the garage got cleaned out, we painted every room and installed the hardwood floors. I only have pictures of the floor installation and living room paint. I neglected to take any photos of any of the other paint colors. Every time I would go to take a picture, there would be a big pile of trash in the way and I would get disgusted and put my camera or phone away, not wanting to share our messy home improvement ways with the world.







The walls in these photos are painted a Martha Stewart Living color, Magnetite, that I had matched by my MAB paint store. (I refuse to purchase paint from Home Depot or Lowe's, and we've always used MAB products in all of our paint projects.) CPM hates the color, but I love it. I keep telling him to wait and see, that the gray will be a great background for whatever colors we want to bring into the mix.

The floors are strand woven bamboo (in tiger) purchased from Ambient Bamboo. We chose the pattern by visiting a local Lumber Liquidators, then I did an internet search to see if I could get a better price on a similar product. Not only was the Ambient product better, but the plank size was much wider. Ambient shipped the product to me via UPS Freight, and I had to help the UPS guy unload the truck. That sucked, since it was cold and windy on the delivery day, and there were 50 boxes that each weighed 50 pounds divided between 2 skids. It got even better when one of the two skids just broke, so the boxes on that skid had to be unloaded from the UPS truck and taken to my front steps individually. Eventually I just gave up, piled the boxes on my lawn, and called CPM so that he could send help (i.e. two of his employees) to me to get the boxes into the house.

We had to rent a special nail gun to install the floors, as the material is an engineered bamboo product, and it is so hard that traditional hardwood nail guns won't work properly. The rental gun jammed approximately 800 times during the process, and CPM said a lot of bad words while unjamming the gun, but in the end, we got it done. I love the floor. CPM plans to form a break dance fight club. (First rule of break dance fight club: no talking about break dance fight club.) I wish I had gotten video of his back spins.

Currently, our mechanic is installing tile in the bathrooms. Yes, people, it is possible that I will have a flushing toilet early next week! I may not have doors, but, by god, I can pee inside! You don't realize what an advantage a guy has until you've had to pee in a port a potty when it's 19 degrees outside.

Outside Work

After I don't know how many beautiful weekends spent working inside the new place, we decided that we should work on installing the fence on the coldest, windiest Saturday of the year so far. At least, that is how it seemed. Add to that the failure of the rental auger, and you have what might be termed an inauspicious start to a home improvement project. But, CPM and his crew are determined. The auger was exchanged for one that worked. The cold breeze was ignored. And a fence was mostly installed this past weekend. (Okay, there are still several panels and the gates to go in. It's 80 percent complete. Close enough.)

Lumberjacks!


Wow, the garage is really messy.


But the fence "look niiiice. I like."


The stucco guy has also been hard at work. Soon the outside will look as nice as the inside.



What's left to do inside the house is mostly finish work: installing wood trim, door jambs, window sills. We also must begin the nitty gritty of selecting tile, installing tile, putting in a REAL FLUSHING TOILET and FUNCTIONING SINK. Dear god, I can almost taste the anti-bacterial hand soap! I cannot wait to banish the porta potty from the drive way. CAN. NOT. WAIT. After that we need to pick a kitchen and some appliances. (Ikea? Maybe?). No biggie, right? This is never ending.

Warm House

Because we did the whole "super high" ceiling thing in the house, we were basically limited to using spray foam insulation in the walls and ceiling. We used closed cell insulation. Hands down, this was the most expensive part of the renovation project. "Everyone" keeps telling us that we will reap benefits in the long run through cheaper utility bills. They better be right.



If you have any interest, the full set of spray foam insulation photos is here.

I will say little here about how the contractor hit us up for additional money on the last day of the job. Perhaps he knew how exhausted we were, and how much we just wanted to be done. My typical go eff yourself atty-tood was nonexistent, and he got what he wanted. He was a nice guy, just not the best business person. Basically, I feel screwed, because he was the low bidder, but ended up costing us the same amount as the highest bidder. What a racket.

A Handy Guide for Contractors

What is it about contractors that makes them operate on their own wave length? Here are the things I want from contractors working for me:

1. A decent response time. Don't make me wait ages for a proposal. If I need to wait ages because you are swamped with work, just tell me you are busy. I will either understand and wait longer or I will seek someone else out. Avoiding any forms of communication with me just pisses me off.

2. An accurate number. Give me your best quote the first time. When I tell you that you lost the job to a competing contractor because your number was too high, it's too late for you to massage your quote to my liking. It just makes me think that you'll cheat me out of something or cut corners on the job to make your profit margin. You aren't getting the job. Be honest and up front in your original proposal.

4. Show up when you say you will, on time, every time. If you tell me you will be at my house between 7 and 7:30, do not show up at 7:40. Leave your house/shop early if you have to, but get to my house on time. I have a job, my husband has a job, and we are putting our lives on hold for you. Show us some consideration and respect. We are paying you after all.

5. Be prepared. Walk through the job after you quote it, and close to your start date. Figure out where your damn equipment will go. Do not call me on the morning that you start and tell me that your truck will not fit near my house and cause a panicked scramble to rearrange things. If you had walked through the job a few days ago, we could have calmly arranged things to suit your needs.

In short, if you are a contractor, treat people the way you would expect to be treated. Do not be an asshole.

Deep Breath

I know that CPM and I are not the first people in the history of the world to lose a pet. But really, nothing prepares you for it. I have two other dogs and a cat to love, and I still can't stop thinking about the one that we said goodbye to this weekend. The house feels empty, when in reality, it is still full of puppies and dog fur tumbleweeds.

Things that really suck: doing my normal routine, and realizing how much time Ollie spent shadowing me, and just MISSING that shadow so desperately that I burst into tears at random and odd moments. When I would be chopping food up and cooking dinner, he would position himself so close to the counter, that stray vegetable scraps would typically land right in his mouth. Smart dog. He lay under my chair at dinner. Right under it. Chair adjustments were a challenge. He slept in my armpit, or right up against my back, or with his head on top of my chest, always. He lay by my feet when I sat on the couch. He loved apples and tomatoes, cheese and bread. Well, he loved all food actually. He loved to give kisses. He loved to "shake paw." He loved to chill. He was an incredible pet.

That I have written those last two paragraphs without sobbing is a major improvement. I realize now that I could never be a no dog household...I'm not even sure how we survived all those years that we didn't have pets. I took the other two dogs to get baths yesterday, and the emptiness of the house was painful.

The other dogs know that Ollie is gone. They both obsessively smelled the jeans I wore to take him to the emergency room on Saturday morning. Squirt whined all day, looking for him, frantically making me take her outside to the yard, then back in the house, to find him. Bones is just sad. It's funny. Ollie was the glue that held the pack together. Bones and Ollie were buds, Squirt and Ollie were buds. Bones and Squirt just kind of pass each other in the hallway, occasionally interacting. I'm sure that dynamic will change. They are both mad at Rocky, the cat, which is new. Maybe they blame him.

Today at the new house, we have our framing re-inspection. We failed the first go round, had to do a few things to satisfy the building inspector. If we fail this time, after the weekend that I've had, I may just lose my mind. Fingers crossed, knocking on wood, etc. I need this week to go better than the weekend.

Ollie

Dear Ollie,

Almost eleven years ago, your dad and I went to the SPCA hoping to adopt a friend for your big brother, Bones, because we thought he was lonely. (We later learned that Bones is just morose and depressed all of the time, and would have preferred to be a lone dog.) You jumped up in excitement when we approached your enclosure, and peed right through the gate onto my Saucony. At that moment, I knew you were meant to be ours. You were about 12 weeks old when we brought you home.



For a little while, you were smaller than Bones.


You quickly tried to become Bones' best buddy.


You also tried to become his boss. You definitely won. The blanket lost though. I would later enter this room to find the two of you sheepishly covered in stuffing, one corner in each of your mouths.



You remained Bones' boss for a while. You were the terror of the house in your puppy hood. While Bones would peacefully hang out in the kitchen behind a baby gate while we were at work, you chewed through the gate, escaped to find where we hid the treats, ate them all, then pooped all over the living room. While Bones was content to gnaw on his water bowl or the phone cord, you figured out how to open all of the drawers and cabinets in the kitchen. You ate all of my tupperware, all of my plastic utensils, all of the tin foil, baggies and wraps. You also somehow managed to one day ingest an entire gallon of olive oil. That was a stain that never came out of the rug. I once made a panicked call to the vet to find out if an entire package of fudge striped cookies would kill you. I don't know how many pairs of slip on Vans you ate. (Eventually, you resorted to simply cuddling my shoes, with your nose stuffed inside. Weirdo.) As I said, you were a terror. I laugh now, but then, I thought I wouldn't survive your puppy hood. I did, though, and you became the best dog, absolutely devoted to me.



Okay, so I apologize for Squirt. She usurped your alpha role in the house, within minutes of her arrival, actually. But she loved you immediately.





You both became my constant shadows. You slept by my side, she at my feet. I was never cold at night with the two of you around me. Right now, I wonder what it will be like to sleep with just one dog. (Bones prefers to hunker on the couch, pretending that I don't know it.) Possibly, I will no longer smush over into your dad at night. But mostly, I know I will really miss your weight on my side. It was a constant reassurance that you had my back. I also knew I would never fall off of the bed. Thanks bud.

Your favorite place was on a pillow, or cuddled with me on a blanket. You were, how do I say this, not the most energetic of dogs. For a while, one might even refer to you as "chubby." I'm sorry about putting you on the diet food, but it was for your own good.





This morning you left me. The doctor said that cancer ruptured something inside of you, and it was making you bleed inside your belly.



You weren't supposed to go so soon. Your dad and I bought a new house, with no steps, but it's not ready yet. Since your knee surgery a few years ago, you haven't liked the steps. You always waited until you were sure I wasn't coming back downstairs to make your way up to bed. You never met me in the basement when I got home from work, unless I called you down to go outside. When you did do steps, you took your time, allowing your insane sister to careen down the stairs past you, while you waited for her to pass, and then gingerly descended. You were so regal. If you could have spoken, I'm sure you would have had an upper crust British accent.



My Ollie, I will miss you.

A moment.

I know the moment that I lost my sense of despondency over being trapped in a never ending home improvement project. It was the moment yesterday when I received the picture above via text message. It's a front door! A real door! For some reason, it makes me feel like this all will end for real some day soon. It's so dramatic! I feel like there should be a door installation ceremony, similar to the steel topping off ceremony that is held when a high rise is being constructed. There wasn't, but I did get to visit the door last night. The door is just fine.

For reference, here's one of the before views:



So the house looks like a house from the street now, and not some abandoned shack.



Progress, people! Progress.

Progress!

I'll be honest. I thought we'd be living in the new place by now. Really, I should know better. In my professional life, I deal constantly with construction projects. I know all about delays. I guess I just thought that in my "real" life, I'd be immune. Unfortunately, I'm not. I've said this a few times in previous blogs, but it's now official: I hope we live in the house by the winter holidays. (I'm superstitious. I bet I just doomed myself to a President's Day 2011 moving weekend by putting that hope in writing so frequently.)

It's really frustrating that I don't have some sort of super power to make the construction be done NOW. Progress has been made, though. This weekend, we worked on electric and lights.

Obsessing over Half an Inch.


New windows are going in. It's hard to tell from the photos below, but those windows are all five feet tall. Five feet, people! I could stand upright in them!

This is the view of the dining room and living room, I'm standing in my kitchen.


This is the fireplace. I'm still a little freaked out that I will have a fireplace. It makes me wish I celebrated Christmas.


This is a view into my bedroom.


Finally, Phase 2 of "put the old exterior windows way up in the high wall inside the house" was successfully completed.

The Artist At Work


Dude with Ginormous Head Not Included


I also managed to complete a Halloween costume (poorly), attend a Halloween party (good times), and hand out candy to numerous trick or treaters (some lame ass kids had no costumes. What is wrong with America?). Phew. I'm really ready to have a "normal" week.

Gushing.

Allow me to brag and name drop for just a moment. My husband, the great and powerful CPM, plays a mean guitar solo in None More Black. Today, NMB's newest record, Icons is out. I've been rocking it in the gym and in the car for the past few months. That's one of the benefits of being married to a band member...early access to their recordings. (Other benefits include an unending supply of t-shirts and hooded sweatshirts.) This record is awesome. Get it.

So, this past Saturday night, NMB played the Fat Wreck Chords CMJ showcase in Brooklyn, NY. This meant that the band members descended on my house for practice a few days prior to the show. I am lucky enough that CPM doesn't ban me from "guy time," so I get to hang out with the guys (this weekend's activity was a viewing of Jackass 3D) when practice is done. Truly, these guys are family now. I love each and every one of them. Also, they all eat my food and say I am a good cook, so that scores them points in my book. I live to feed people. It's the nurturer in me.

Someone recorded some of Saturday's show. Take a peak.


Not seen in the video is CPM's backstage orchestration of a triumphant use of Twitter to get someone's horrible/mean/awful girlfriend to finally break up with them. I normally disapprove of public displays of relationship troubles, but this girl was stalker level psycho, and wouldn't take a hint (Hint: If your boyfriend ships you back to your home state, that means he wants to break up.) I guess after about twenty random Twitter users sent pics of her guy with other girls (including a few professional dominatrixes), she finally caught on. Evil girlfriend eliminated.

I can honestly admit that I laughed more this weekend than I have in a while. CPM and I took a break from working on the new house and just hung out. We'll get back to house renovating this weekend.

Yesterday, I stayed home from work to sew a Halloween costume for myself. It's been months since I used the sewing machine. Nothing has changed...I spent a lot of time ripping out seams due to silly mistakes. I also found myself approximately 1 yard short of the main fabric that I was using, so I'm totally hacking the costume with two different fabrics. My goal is to use only fabric from my stash. I'm sewing Simplicity 4940. (It really is easy, I just made a stupid mistake and twisted something while sewing, necessitating the seam tearing. It was totally frustrating.) Hopefully, I can correct the error and get this thing done before the weekend.

Duct. Done. Dude.

Spouse (aka Mr. Super HVAC guy) and I spent the weekend completing the installation of the duct work in the new place. When we bought the place, it had radiators. Yes, I know, radiator heat is awesome and super efficient, and doesn't cause bloody noses and headaches the way forced hot air can. Radiators, however, take up a ton of space in a tiny little house (one radiator beneath every stinking window), so they were demoed early on. We had intended to install radiant floor heat throughout the place. Then, the reality of the budget set in. We value engineered (go, me, with the construction terms) the radiant floor, and will instead have forced hot air. Mr. Spouse will install a humidifier so that I don't get dry air bloody noses and headaches. (They work fabulously, we have one in our current house heater, and I haven't had a problem since Mr. Spouse installed it.)

The plumbing is in progress. I forgot to take a picture of the big ass trench in the basement floor where the drain line was installed. If I disappear before that trench is filled in, you know where to look for the body now. If all goes well, the plumbing should be done this week. I still won't have a real toilet in the place though. Me and Mr. Porta Potty are getting used to one another. The key is to keep the number of people using the thing to a minimum. Unfortunately, this contradicts our need to have actual people doing work at the house. Maybe I should force all of our helpers to maintain a liquid only diet....hmmmmm.

For some reason, we've delayed starting the electrical work. Fingers crossed we get to that this weekend.

Once all of the mechanicals are completed, we will move to what is proving to be perhaps the most expensive part of the project: the spray foam insulation. We have decided to go with closed cell spray foam insulation in all of the exterior walls and in the ceiling. Because we vaulted the ceiling, and the joist bays are so shallow, we actually do not have the space to use traditional fiberglass insulation. Which is good, since fiberglass insulation is actually crap. So, what have I learned about spray foam insulation? One: it is not cheap. You can save some money by using open cell foam, but you need more of it, and it is not as good as closed cell foam. Two: It outperforms traditional fiberglass insulation so well that traditional R value ratings are irrelevant, and theoretically, you should only need a minimal layer. However, your local inspector will probably force you to install the code required R value anyway. Hence, you will be getting prices for 5.5 inches of closed cell foam in the ceiling, and you will drop dead from shock at the cost. Then you will start cutting the budget in other places to make up the money. C'est la vie.

This week will be a bit chaotic, since Mr. Spouse will be playing Mr. Rock and Roll Guy. Having house guests means I have to clean the bathroom instead of just wiping it down with a Clorox wipe and calling it a day. It also means we will get nothing done at the new place. Sigh. At this rate, I only hope we get to live there for the winter holidays.

Wait, what day is it?

I begin this blog with a photo of a couple of Vegan Treats dessert items enjoyed at the wedding of some friends. No, I am not vegan. Yes, it's because "I can't live without cheese." Yes, I know what they do to cows to get the cheese made. I get over it. I also don't believe that vegan desserts are better than regular desserts. These ones are very, very good (Peanut Butter Bombe cupcake and Pumpkin Cheesecake) but I'm sorry, the best butter cream has real butter in it. The end. (Actually, not the end, because I have done a lot of vegan baking in my day, and I'm sorry, I simply prefer to bake non vegan. I could go on and on and on about why, but I won't. It's boring, and lots of people disagree with me, but I don't care. But I will bake vegan for you if you are vegan and I love you.)

So, where are we in house progress? Well, it looks the same way that it looked two weeks ago. Hence, no new photos (but see below for reference). There is a big ditch in the basement (for the plumbing), and some duct work has been installed. We're square in the midst of the mechanical portion of the construction. It's not as glamorous as the demo and the framing. But, it means we are closer to actually living in the place, and not just visiting it daily as if it were a sick parent in the hospital. At this point, I just hope we live there by the winter holidays.



I've been meeting with spray foam insulation contractors. That's about as exciting as it sounds. We talk R values and closed cell versus open cell foam. The windows have been delivered, and are awaiting installation, the front and back door will soon follow (none too soon since the latest work site drama involves a broken key in a really old lock, and the installation of a hasp and padlock to secure the place).

I've been doing a lot of number crunching. The budget is finite, you see, and I obsess over every dollar that we spend. I sometimes try to think about finishes, but I just can't. It's too soon. Maybe when the drywall is finally up. I do my best work at the last minute.

Allergies. Blech.

Every year, my allergies find new and interesting ways to torment me. This year, they clogged my left ear with fluid for a week straight. The very descriptive diagnosis would be something like this: everything sounds like it is under water-itis. There really is no way to clear it up, short of slicing open your inner ear and sticking a tube in it. No thanks. Instead, I devised my own cocktail of over the counter drugs and finally have found some form of relief. Also, generic Zyrtec is bullshit. Real Zyrtec knows this and laughs whenever someone grabs the fake Target brand off of the shelf, knowing that they'll be back begging for the relief that only the real shit can provide. Fuckers.

***

This week in new house construction, I give you the tearing down of the wall to expand the foyer. While less dramatic than the breaching of the wall between east and west Berlin, it was still a pretty cool moment, walking into the house and seeing the expanded space.



Also, this week, CPM's great design idea came to fruition. "We" (meaning I watched and photographed while others worked) installed the former front window high up in the wall in the dining room. I believe an architect might refer to this as a "clerestory."



We are now ready to move onto the mechanical phase of construction. Bring on the plumbing, HVAC and electrical work!

First World Problems, People

For the record, we are nowhere near being ready to do any decorating at the new place. Still, that doesn't stop me from trolling various design sites for inspiration (read, steal ideas that I can do in my house for cheap/free).

Alas, lights are not free. And we have a dramatically high entry way. The foyer ceiling will be about 10 feet high, which leads directly into the dining room, where the ceiling height is 12 feet or more (I forgot to confirm the height with the spouse). I know, I know. I'm gonna need a really big light up there. Like I said, first world problems.

The current house has ceiling fans in the kitchen and dining area. As a regular watcher of the now defunct Trading Spaces , I know they are not "design elements." They serve a purpose, to keep me cool. Now, however, I feel that I do not want a "big ass fan" in my grand entry way. I want a lovely light fixture. These are just inspiration/ideas. I'm notorious for buying stuff, looking at it, and changing my mind and kicking myself that I wasted money (if it's not returnable). The main problem is that I have no idea what my "taste" actually is.

I was surprised to find myself interested in anything this glassy, but there will be a pretty big leaded glass window behind it, so maybe that's what I'm feeling:





Then there is this "natural" chandelier. As Jaime pointed out via email, this will be a pain in the ass to clean. Also, it feels pretty "faery" to me. I'm not sure I'm a "faery" decor person. I've never actually been to a Renaissance Faire.



The next two are more along the lines of classic chandelier in my mind. Not gaudy, pretty simple, although the one is pushing the limit with the extra crystal hangers. Still, not too bad at all, right?





Finally, I include this one not because I am actually interested in it, but because I think it's crazy that Pottery Barn would charge $300 for something I think I could make on my own. I add the fact that I get to drink all of the wine in order to do it, so it's a pretty amazing project.

Apparently I Lack Vision

We are now approximately one month into Operation Let's Build Us a Damn House in the Burbs and Move Away from the City. Let's recap, shall we?

For the last five weekends or so I have found myself covered in various forms of dirt and debris. It started with plaster dust and mouse poop as we demoed walls, which became squirrel nesting debris and cotton insulation as we demoed ceilings, which transformed into tar and pitch remnants as we peeled off the flat roof, which finally was capped by the piece de resistance of the human fecal matter from the basement poop pipe when we finally demoed the plumbing and mechanicals. This home renovation is brought to you by ample amounts of Tide and Downy.

I have sweated way more than I like to. I have eaten way too much pizza (home renovation also sponsored by Jules Thin Crust and Peace a Pizza). I have gained four pounds (seriously, WTF is up with that, I guess it's the pizza). I have used the porta potty and decided that running water and flushing toilets are gifts from God above. I locked myself in the garage for an hour and cried. I filled buckets too full with trash, couldn't lift them, and cried. (I have actually cried a whole lot less than I expected too on this project.)

I used a sawzall for the first time. (I want to use the nail gun next.) I'm good with the crow bar. I can eyeball a dumpster and estimate approximately how much more crap we can fit into it. But I am ready for the demo to be done and construction to begin.

And just like that, poof, we have a new wall. A new, really high wall.

Human Featured is Actual Size


When I walked through the house before we made the offer, I never even considered creating cathedral ceilings. That was all CPM's idea. I'm five foot two inches tall, and I rarely dust the corners on my normally sized house. I'm scared to death of the ceilings in the new place. I'm going to need a really long pole. (Pause for whatever dirty joke you wish to insert here.)

I also couldn't "see" how the new interior wall would look with the original leaded glass installed high up--that was also all CPM's idea. Now that the frames are built, I can see how amazing the place is going to be.



I've started obsessively trolling design websites for inspiration. HGTV is on constantly. Now the fun really begins, right?

Highlights of My Weekend

Highlight 1

I locked myself in my new garage for about an hour on Saturday. I pause here for a renewed sense of panic as I relive the moment. Imagine lifting a spring-less garage door open from the outside, entering the garage, then, hearing the door slam down behind you. Now imagine trying to lift said spring-less door from the inside. The door does not budge. If you were me, you would be thankful that you could call your husband, who is busy at work, and panic over the phone, because you remembered to put your cell phone in your pocket. As he later told me, tears are his kryptonite. He was home to rescue me within an hour. I was shaken up and unable to work much for a few hours. As a thank you to CPM for the rescue, I gladly killed a bunch of ants later in the day (he hates bugs). Marriage, it's all about give and take.


Highlight 2

CPM made me pick up a pipe full of poop. The scene went something like this:

Me: (Returning to the basement after my millionth trip to the dumpster. Silently prepares to pick up some more trash to carry to dumpster.)
Him: "Take these pipes out, they are ready to go."
Me: (Struggling to lift heavy and unwieldy pipe, clutching said pipe close to my torso, "dirt" falling out of pipe onto me.)
Him: "You know, that pipe is full of poop."
Me: (Cue FREAKING OUT, HAND FLAPPING, YELLING).
Him: (Laughs hysterically)
Me: "I will never forgive you for this, ever."

Highlight 3

Hey, the new bathroom is up and running:



Man, that just doesn't get old.

Highlight 4

We also put in the new indoor pool:



Okay, it's not a pool. It's a hole in the basement floor. I'm killing myself with my construction humor.

Highlight 5

My husband, he has a big tool...collection.



Ha!